When it comes to the topic of mental health & mental illness, it seems to be a tough one for some. Not everyone is as educated or as experienced with it. It dawned on me that there are people who have no mental illness. They don’t have any trauma or negative events that have taken a toll on their mind. It’s odd to think about ,but also there are people that don’t know how to handle with mental health. They don’t understand it. Or they probably don’t know how to/where to posses the tools to help their loved one who suffers from it.
You want to be there for your loved one. To help them and support them in this painful journey. But maybe you just don’t know how to even do that. So, here are 6 ways that you can help someone with mental illness. Hopefully this helps and sparks you to go out and research more ways.
1. Do your research on the mental illness
Sometimes your loved one will happily help you understand their mental illness. They will sit down with you and explain how they experience it. But you as well should do your own research. Maybe look up ways to help someone with that mental illness. Or methods that can help them when they are at their lowest. By doing the research that you need to ,you’ll become more equip. As well as able to understand why they do certain actions or say certain things. It’ll not only benefit the other person ,but you as well.
2. Avoid saying certain phrases
Believe it or not, not everything you think is the best to say should be said. There are certain phrases that actually do more harm than good. Here are some for example:
“You just need to change you’re attitude.”
When it comes to certain mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety, it is not like a light switch. There’s no way to turn it on and off. There’s a constant up and down flow of motion. Changing one’s emotion like that would take hours to days to maybe even weeks. Be patient and be there by their side as they try to navigate through their rough patch.
“Yes, we all feel a little crazy now and then.”
Having a mental illness doesn’t make you “crazy”. It isn’t something that qualifies us as a psycho. Those are harmful stigmas that only hurt the topic of Mental Health Awareness. By saying this phrase ,you’re actually minimizing their emotions and their illness. Having it seem like it’s a normal thing everyone feels. And that it is nothing to be so worked up over. Instead try to lend your support and express how you are here for them. And try to reassure them.
“Stop harping on the negative, you should just start living.”
If it was possible to change their mindset in a snap then they would. Them “harping on the negative” is their mind betraying them. This phrase has the same annoying effect as “Just try to think positive.” or “Just go for a walk.”. I know there are good intentions behind the phrase ,but it only frustrates us more. It shows that you aren’t taking their illness seriously. Or that you aren’t trying to understand them better. Instead, say something along the lines of “That sounds really difficult.” It has a better tone and a better meaning to it.
“Just pray about it.”
From someone who comes a religious background, this phrase boils my blood. Whatever that is wrong, won’t be fixed with a simple prayer. Their mental illness won’t just disappear. There comes a point where praying is only acts a denial. Same as the other phrases there are good intentions. And is said out of love and belief in what you believe in. But maybe the other person whether religious or not, doesn’t think prayer will help. Or maybe themselves have prayed ,but nothing has changed. It is only feeding a false sense of hope.
Also hindering them in getting the proper help that they need. Help that is far from what the powers of religion can do for you. Now, you can have whatever belief system you want to have. But at the same time, be careful and attentive to what they other person is going through. And asses whether this phrase is something they really need to here at that moment.
3. Ask how you can help
Even if you are the most educated person in the realm of mental illnesses. Or you know absolutely nothing. Make sure you remember this one thing: Everyone’s mental health is different. By generalizing them, it may just cause more frustration. You aren’t necessarily tending to them , you are tending to the textbook illness that you searched. To avoid this, make sure to ask the person how you can help. Make sure to be a good listener. If they need to be left alone, then just give them that space. If they need to vent, ask them of their comfortable with talking out what they’re going through. Just make sure to let them be in control of what they are comfortable with.
4. Be patient with them & their mental illness
We only know so little of what someone is actually going through. As much as they will tell you or let you see. There is always a battle in their heads that you can not help them fight. Because of this, patience is something that is needed. Mental illness doesn’t have a known recovery time. You can’t search up how long it takes to “get over” PTSD. Or how long it takes to “cure” OCD. Mental illness is a whirlwind and it is a constant fight that people go through. Being there for your loved one and having the patience to stay with them through this is so important.
5. Check up on them
Even if it takes a couple hours or days for them to respond. Send them a text asking how they are doing. Or telling them that you are there for them. They may not respond ,but they will read your text. And who knows. Maybe that text helped them get better through their rough patch.
Remember to know your limits
As much as you want to help and be there for the other person. Remember your limits. You yourself need to check on your own mental health. You can’t help others if you’re not okay. But the most important thing to remember is that you can’t fix their mental illness. You yourself don’t have the tools that they need. The only thing you can do is be there as support. And try to help them to get the professional help that they need.
THANK YOU FOR READING!
May is Mental Health Awareness Month ,so take the time to do some research. Maybe you have a loved one that suffers from mental health. Donate to a charity and try to do your part to help end the stigma. As someone who is an advocate for mental health awareness and suffers from it, this month is always so important to me. Wanting to better yourself for the long run is something that just is important. And shouldn’t be looked over.
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