Hello my T.A & Co. Community! Happy Black History Month! We are back here again with another weekly blog. And if you’re anything like me then Valentine’s Day is a bittersweet day this year. I’m not sure if most of my readers are in relationships or not. But either way this week’s posts are for the girlies who are in situationships, relationships, long distance, or single. It’s something for everyone. Usually when we think of Valentine’s Day we often equate it to being in a relationship & flaunting your love. Being showered with gifts by someone & having them show appreciation. With you doing the same back. But what I think we should add to this “holiday” is that it’s also a day for self-love. It can be about showing love to yourself. Giving yourself that appreciation. That can be shown through some self-care.
Whether you do it already or lacking in it. Self-care is always important when it comes to sustaining your own self. It’s the the time to relax & reflect on yourself in a gentle way. So, for this Valentine’s Day, let’s try some ways on how to give ourselves that love.
If you’re single or going to be by yourself for Valentine’s it’s already a sense of “I don’t have anyone”. And instead of wallowing in your lonesome. Plan the day to be spent with friends. Make it in to a Galantine’s day with your girlfriends. Or head on a night out with a friend group you have. Love comes in all different looks. And it’s nice to have that time to create memories. Feel some joy with the people you care about. They say laughter is the bets medicine and it is. Sending that shoot of serotonin in to our brains. Self-care is about making yourself feel good. And what a way to feel good by being surrounding by friends.
2. ...Or treat yourself
If you’re not prone to self-care days, maybe use this Valentine’s Day as a start. I feel like most of 365 days of the year we put other first. We tend to spread our energy thin. Not leaving anything for ourselves. So, how about we take this day as an excuse to just do the opposite. Take yourself out shopping and treat yourself. Get yourself that overpriced coffee. Grab some good food from your favorite restaurant. Light a scented candle. Go get yourself a mani/pedi. Schedule a massage for yourself. Do things for yourself. Make yourself a priority. You can even take the day to plan out a new routine that involves self-care as a daily or weekly occurrence. Just because someone else isn’t there to lather in all this love doesn’t mean you can’t do it for yourself.
Have you heard people say “heal your inner child”? If not, let me quickly explain. In all of us we have our child selves. involves recognizing and accepting things that caused you pain in childhood. Bringing these hurts out into the light of day can help you begin to understand their impact. A great way to heal your inner child is to gift it. This means doing things that you used to love as a child. Gifting yourself with items that you never could or used to have as a kid. This looks different for everyone. So, take this day to just gift your inner child. Give your kid-self that self-care that maybe was denied to you back then. A great way to practice growth & joy.
I don’t know about you ,but looking at social media on Valentine’s Day ruins my mental health. I can be honest here. Sometimes it is out of envy or jealousy. But it doesn’t make me feel good. I delve myself in to a depression hole. Where I sulk and just make myself cry out of feeling lonely. The realization that I’m single on this holiday. So, I started to do this in 2019. I don’t go on social media apps. No Instagram, no Facebook, no Twitter, nothing. I unplug myself for the day.
Only communicating to whoever I want to talk to through texting. Valentine’s Day can already be such an overwhelming day emotionally for some of us. So, taking that initiative to be like “I’m putting my mental health first today. I know this will only get me more upset. So, I’m logging off in order to preserve my sanity.”
Honestly, it is such a power move.
5. Make yourself feel sexy
When people think of someone spending Valentine’s Day alone, they see someone looking frumpy. Messy hair, sweatpants, hasn’t showered all day. But that doesn’t have to be the case. You can practice self-care by dressing up. For who, you may be wondering. Well, for yourself. Give yourself a nice hot shower. Do you hair. Take your time & do your make-up routine. Put a sexy outfit together and just lounge around in your home. Set up a mini photoshoot in your home or even out in the town.
Or wear some sexy lingerie with a nice silk robe. Lounge around in your home. Cook yourself a fine ass dinner. Just make yourself feel beautiful. To remind yourself that you are worthy of this type of love & treatment. Don’t do it for someone else or for outside validation. Dress up for yourself. Make it be to validate yourself , to make yourself feel impowered.
6. Acknowledge yourself & your emotions
Like I said before, Valentine’s Day can be emotionally overwhelming to some of us. And often we’re told to just try to “suck up” the emotions. That being out on a date isn’t even fun anyways. That you’re going to find somebody. To work on loving yourself first. I’m sure you have heard it all before. But I bet no one ever told you that it is okay to feel how you’re feeling. It’s okay to be a bit jealous. To be a bit envious.
There is nothing wrong in any of that. Acknowledge those feelings. Let yourself feel them & work on the more so WHY you’re feeling this way. Yes it is good to love yourself. But that doesn’t negate the fact that you want that romantical love. Self-love can’t really replace the romantic love. We desire it. And it’s okay to be upset that it is not in your life currently. But just don’t wallow in it.
7. Meditate
Slow down your day. It’s still the beginning of the year. And I feel like we are in this fast pace. Such a quick pace. But a great way to practice self-care is mediation. Being able to take that time to reflect on yourself. Valentine’s day is the perfect day for that. With love and peace already in the air . you want to take advantage of the energy. Journaling as well is a great way to spend this day. Make the day more so about reflecting on your own self. Taking the steps to make growth.
THANK YOU FOR READING !
So glad to see you finish reading another blog post this week. Happy Black History Month! The most important month of the year. Also, as important because at the end of the month is my birthday! I’m turning 21 which is crazy. And so surreal. But here I am. Hope you enjoyed this week’s post. A year of doing this blogging and I am enjoying it more and more each week. If you ever have any suggestions or topics you want me to talk about. Email me, or shoot me a DM on Instagram. I’d be more than happy to have a chat.
Whether you’re single or taken, I hope you have a lovely Valentine’s Day.
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