Friendships are something that we hold dear to us. But it sucks when that friendship gets stretched miles apart. Long-distance is something that either strain or make the connection stronger. Although, it seems like it is usually the first one. With having moved from one state to another that really put a test to many friendships. Even now, with this stage of college. It’s not like back in highschool where you saw your friends every day. Now it seems like you can barely get a facetime call. This isn’t a post bashing long-distance friendships. There are ways to make sure that both sides are putting in the work. And when you two talk again it will feel like no time or distance has changed.
Schedule times to talk
When it does come to long-distance friendships there can be numerous factors added on to it. Maybe you both started college and have busy schedules. Or your friend is now in a whole different time zone as you. Either way, the excuse of no time to talk can and will come up. That’s why it’s best to schedule it. The days of spontaneous chats at night may be limited. But long-distance friendships take more dedication than it did before. Talk to each other and set a date that you two set aside to talk and catch up. It can be for just two hours or a whole night. Just schedule it and hold yourself to it.
Don’t get jealous with the long-distance
You both now have different lives. Different people that you two don’t share a connection with. Just because you see them being close with someone new doesn’t mean they forgot about you. It doesn’t mean that they are trying to replace you. Keep that jealousy in check. Everyone is allowed to have lives outside of their other friendships. Try to put yourself in their shoes. They probably don’t know anyone and are feeling lonely. Why get upset that they want to be social and make new friends? The long-distance is already hard enough on them. It isn’t fair that they have to be miserable & lonely as well. As long as you keep up the communication, there is no use in overthinking the situation.
Facetime/Video chat as much as possible
Whether you have an iPhone or an Android. A MacBook or a Windows. Try to just see each other’s face. Yes, you can text each other or send voice texts ,but those aren’t personal. Not as personal as seeing one another’s face. The thing with long-distance friendships is that not everything has to be a spectacular spectacle. You two could simply Facetime while you guys are studying or cooking. Either you guys can talk the entire time or just enjoy each other’s company. Texting has a different effect than seeing each other’s face. Technology is so advanced now a days ,use it to your advantage.
Remember that you’re never too busy to text
Usually, these long-distance friendships will fail due to communication dry patches. We get in the mode of that we’ll text when we’re not busy. Buy we all know that is not true. Whenever we have our friend pop in to our head ,immediately make a commitment to text them in the next 10 seconds. You may think that a single “hi” text is not anything ,but it’s better than nothing. It shows that you have your friend in your thoughts. As well as a “Just wanted to say hi. Been thinking of texting you text.” is a good one as well. You may not have time to talk everyday ,but sending a 30 second text is something you can make time for.
Make sure the friendship is 50/50
Just because it is long-distance shouldn’t mean that the friendship requires less effort. Just like any normal connection with someone both parties need to put in the same amount of work. It’s already hard enough that you guys aren’t in the same location anymore. It hurts even more when one of you starts to fall off. Maybe you or the other person misses a schedule facetime. Then all of a sudden it seems like when you text them they just don’t want to talk. It sucks. Partly the reason to failed long-distance relationships is that either person or both aren’t putting in equal effort. Maybe one person is visiting the other more. Or you both are found in different stages of life and can’t keep up anymore. Usually this does happen and if after a talk, the friend still doesn’t make effort. Then maybe it’s time to let that friendship go. Being not cared about as much hurts a lot. But being put on the back burner hurts even worse. This leads in to my next advice.
Be honest despite the long-distance
If you feel that something has changed or gone wrong, speak up. Staying silent will only let that problem fester inside. If you think that the other person notices your passive aggressiveness then they definitely don’t. They don’t know what’s going on on your head 24/7. So, if you have the chance to talk it out, do it. Let them know how you’re feeling. How maybe the friendship isn’t really going in the most positive direction. Long-distance already has it’s challenges with communication. Don’t make it harder by not doing your own part to tell how you feel. Remember they are still you’re friend.
Try to make time to visit
Maybe your friend lives in a different city or a different state. If you’re able to, try to make the effort to visit one another. It’s one thing to always be talking on video chat ,but think of actually getting to hang out with them. It doesn’t have to be a week or two long trip. It could be a simple weekend. Turn it into something fun. If you’re visiting them, have them take you to their favorite spots around town. Or their new fast food joint. If they are visiting you then, do the same fun stuff you guys loved to do. Especially , in college the money to go on a plane and visit somebody is scarce. No one is saying to visit every week. But at least every other month or even annually is enough. Making that time to see the other person really says something about your guy’s friendship. It will even make it stronger.
Long-distance is just an adjective
Just because you two or maybe even three or four are so far apart doesn’t mean the friendship means any less. The word long-distance is just an adjective to define the friendship. It shouldn’t be something that hinders it.
Now that I’m getting further in to college the days of my friends being 5 minutes away is no more. Most of my friends are +3 hours away from me. Which means communication is just as important as before. Now there will be days where you two won’t talk. The texts will be minimal and the calls will disappear. But as long as you both gravitate back to that routine you had before everything will be fine. It’ll be difficult at first to navigate ,but once you get in to the rhythm of things it’ll be easier to handle.
THANK YOU FOR READING!!
Thanks for reading this week’s post. I hope this helped a bit for some of you. It seems like now a days everyone is spreading out to have their own lives. Which isn’t bad ,but that just leaves us with many friendships to try and keep. Comment down below nay more friendship topics you want me to write about. Or even relationship topics. This is going to be a bit of a “series” that I am going to try and keep up with. Don’t forget to follow me on all my social media accounts!! Welp, until next time!