As the year is coming to an end, I’ve been reflecting more. Especially how I handled certain situations this year. Mostly failures. So many times I had let my failures whether big or small get to me real bad this year. I dwelled on them. And let them hinder my motivation. Hinder my growth as a person. Of course, we’re not all perfect. Not by any means. There are mistakes that we make & there are things that just don’t go right. Failures are just apart of life. I’ve had to realize that, still am to be honest. There are ways to accept them and move on from it. Not having it keep you from your motivation to do well in life.
I got to invite Cindy Noir to my blog again and ask her some question on failing. As well as how to not have it ruin your stride in motivation. It’s always a pleasure having her on my blog. So, check out this week’s post. And go check out her Tik Tok & Instagram when you’re done.
How would you describe failures in a self-growth journey?
Nothing is easy when it comes to failures. Cindy very much emphasized on this during our entire talk. Expressing that failures are truly how you make it. And I agreed with her fully. So much, I found myself using my failures as a way to avoid my problems. An excuse to escape and go in my hole. But they are there to give you a chance for you to grow as a new person. You gotta fail, let it resonate with you, and finally ask yourself, “What can I do to not feel that way again?”
I just got to a point where I got tired of feeling those emotions that produce nothing, and I'd rather do something with those emotions & produce something.
Don’t waste your energy shaming yourself or dwelling though. It just won’t get you anywhere. Failures are how you make it. They can stay negative. Or you can turn it around in to a lesson and make something positive from it.
Do you think those bumps in the road are essential to self-development?
A lot of us are taught to be perfect. That there is no room for error in life. That our mistakes and failures will cause a hige dent in our life. Now, some are don’t get us wrong. But at the same time, we need those mistakes.
How do you grow or change as a person without making any mistakes?
You’re meant to make mistakes in life. That’s how you change as a person. How you evolve. Let those mistakes happen. We as people are not perfect. So, why must we act that way?
What are some ways someone could learn from their failures?
1.Give yourself the chance to learn
Often times when we have a low in our life, we want to sweep past it. I know for me, I’ll try and push it down. Using excuses of busy life or school work as a way to escape. But what I recently learned is that I gotta learn from them. Of course, I can reflect from the past and learn from those actions. But I know my failures wouldn’t have hindered me so much if I had just dealt with it sooner. Not letting it control me the way it did. So, give yourself a chance to learn. A chance to break toxic patterns.
2. Gain self-awareness
With self-awareness you are telling yourself “I have flaws, but I am willing to change them.” The mistakes and failures in your life are not always your fault. Sometimes there are other people in the wrong. But like I said before. We are not all perfect. Even when we are the victim, by using self-awareness, you are allowing yourself to be better. You are telling yourself that you want be bettering yourself. The version if you now is not the final draft. Your personality, appearance, beliefs, etc. is always being revisied. It’s natural. Just let it happen.
3. Don't reject the situation
I know the easy way out would be to just forget the situation. To have be buried in our subconscious. Sometimes we can’t help it. Our brain just makes us forget to save us from some pain. But if you have your own physical choice of whether to forget or remember. Choose to remember. Don’t reject the situation. Either way, you’re going to have to heal from it. And that will either be in the present or the future. Up to you, whether it’s going to hinder you now or later down the road.
4. Let yourself resonate
Let yourself cry. Do the self-care bubble baths and the candles. Be frustrated, be mad, get upset. Let yourself feel whatever emotions you are having. Sit in the situation. Resonate with it. Then get up, and move on. That’s the important part. Yes, it is okay to sit in an emotion. But don’t dwell in it. Take a short time period to get the emotions in order. And then start learning to move on.
The shoulda,coulda,woulda , is going to keep you from fully addressing your emotions.
5. Don't invalidate your feelings
You deserve that space to not be okay. A way to let your emotions out in a healthy manner. We all have probably met a person that will invalidate others pain and grievances to make theirs seem worse. Don’t listen to those people. Their opinion doesn’t even matter when it comes to YOUR emotions. So often, I let other people’s opinions get ahead of mine. Even when it came to my own pain and sadness. Over time I had to learn to not let people pleasing affect that part of my life. Invalidating your feelings is just making yourself small. It’s practically telling yourself that you’re not important. And that is just not true.
You need people who make space for you too.
I hope you guys liked this week’s post. I’m trying to give you guys some encouragement to you through this seasonal depression that many of us are in. Go check out Cindy on Tik Tok. She makes great self-love & motivational content on Tik Tok. Personally, she is one of my favorite people on the platform. Click the link below to head over to her Instagram & Tik Tok!
THANK YOU FOR READING !
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