Welcome back to Friendship 101! Everyone knows a toxic friend or toxic friends, that they used to have. That person that just caused you so much hurt. Or ruined your perception of people. Toxic friends come in all different forms. But the best part is when you’re able to be free of them. No more manipulative ways or questioning of friendship. You get a chance to heal and find better friends. But how do you move on from toxic friends? Especially ones that used to be your best friend or your support system.
As someone who has gone through a couple bad friendships. I can definitely let you know the best healthy ways to move on from these types of people.
When you’re stuck in a toxic friendship , it can feel like you have no voice. As if you gotta walk on eggshells around this person Just so you don’t set them off. This can build up to having to hold your tongue. Feeling like you’re not able to express how you feel and what you’re thinking. Once you have removed that person from your life, let out those emotions. Cry it out if you want to. Talk out what you’re feeling and the situation with someone closest to you. Don’t let them still control you from a distance.
2. Look for the silver lining
Something I had to do to move on from toxic friends was to find the silver lining. It’s something my dad always says. “There’s a silver lining in everything.” People come and go in our lives. Some leave more of an impact than others. But maybe it was for a reason. Now, I’m not much of a person to always say “everything happens for a reason”. Although, the most recent toxic friend that left was an impact that I didn’t think would hit as hard. I was left alone in my hometown with literally no friends. Everyone was a 2-4 hour drive or a 2 hour plane ride away.
That person leaving my life forced me to learn how to live in my own presence. How to overcome feeling alone & lonely. To learn to do things by myself and for myself. Taught me how to put myself first for once and to rely on me. Toxic friends usually teach us a hard lesson about people & life. But it’s up to us to figure out that lesson. And to always hold it dear.
It’s easy to turn bitter after a toxic friend is gone. To think about the time ,energy, and sometimes money wasted on that person. And to think that you were able to be vulnerable with that person. To share secrets that not even your family knows about. Feeling like you could lean on them and have them as a support system. Just for them to leave you in shambles. It’s easy to be bitter about all that. But don’t dwell in it.
I’m all for feeling out your feelings. But don’t let it consume you. Or change you in to a cold hearted person. Pick up the pieces left behind and try to assemble it back together. Know that it is time to get up and move on. That the other person may not even be dwelling in the bitterness at all. Start to worry about you and what you gotta do to make yourself whole again.
Depending on your toxic friendship, you may not have had time for your healthy friendships. That toxic friend may have isolated you away. Or left you feeling so drained that you didn’t have any energy left. Now that they’re gone, it’s time to put that energy back in to the important aspects of your life. Your healthy friendships/relationships in your life. You may have lost a friend, but remember they weren’t the best friend you could have. Start prioritizing the people that are always there for you. And are there to be your shoulder to cry on as you go through this difficult transition. You’d be surprised at how much easier the healing is when you know you have your true friends at your side.
5. Do things that bring you joy
This is one of the most important things I did when toxic friends left my life. My first initial thought was to just mope around. to reminisce and look back at the happy times. But that just actually made me angrier. So, when I went to my therapy session after the friend left my therapist gave me one thing to do. She told me to make myself happy. To do the hobbies , watch the movies, listen to music, binge that new Netflix show. Just do things that bring me joy.
When people leave our lives it’s like we are not able to be happy in a way. Especially, if that person was an important part in your life. But making yourself happy is the medicine you need to feel better. Toxic friends suck the joy out of your slowly ,but surely. Now that they’re gone, it’s time to gain that joy back.
THANK YOU FOR READING !
Friendship 101 is a series I started to give out the lessons I’ve learned from many friendships. Some failed ,some are ongoing. This one I’ve been waiting to make because I was still healing from a bad friendship from 2021. It was a very toxic one when I look back at it now. But I learned some valuable things from it. A part of me thinks it happened so that I can finally learn how to enjoy being alone. And another part of me thinks it was just a coincidence. I may never know. If you liked this blog post, make sure to subscribe to my email list. So that you can always know when the next post is up! Make sure to check out my Tik Tok, link is below!
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