Self-love is something that is making its way in to society, recently. We see it all over our social media. There are probably tens of accounts revolving around it. With so much talk there is never much on the real steps of how. I’m not talking about the taking yourself out to dinner, going to the spa, or having a night out with friends. I’m talking about the real stuff. No one really mentions the reality of what it takes. It isn’t rainbows and sunshine all the time. Learning to love yourself takes work. So, for today’s post I decided to talk about the how since we know so much about the why.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
It hurts when someone is already knocking us down, but even worse when it’s ourselves. You got to remember that we’re all human. No one is expecting us to be perfect. So, why should we kick ourselves when we’re already down. Try to remember that you can make mistakes, but that doesn’t excuse you not owning up to them. Loving yourself is a journey and dragging yourself down is going to make it harder to achieve.
Acknowledge your limits
There’s only so much you can take. In life we are told to be strong. To try and be brave. Although sometimes we just need to not be those things. It’s not weak or being selfish. Putting others before constantly will only start to hurt you in the long run. Realize and set your limits. Whether that’s with relationships or just how you handle daily life. Don’t push yourself too hard. Take time to decompress and just let yourself breathe for once. Loving yourself is an uphill battle.
Be honest with yourself
Telling someone else that you’re okay is one thing, but when you start to believe it. Well, that’s a whole other monster to deal with. Lying to yourself won’t get you anywhere. Over time you’ll soon believe your own lies. Not realizing that you aren’t doing as “okay” as you led on to believe. When it comes to learning how to love yourself, honesty is something that should be established from the beginning. The only way to start fresh and on a good note is to make sure that you’re starting on the right foot.
Forgiving & Letting go
Just to make one thing clear, is that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Although, what’s in the past is in the past. We can always see mistakes that we made and revel in them. If not reveling, then we are spending our free time regretting it. Instead of wasting precious time ,start by seeing mistakes and regrets as a learning opportunity. They were just learning curves. Take what you got from them, and then let them stay where they should be…in the past. Self-love isn’t just learning to appreciate what’s on the outside. It’s also about what’s on the inside.
“Our pain is the doorway to our joy.”
-rupi kaur
Know your worth
Lately, I noticed something about coming to the journey of self-love. It is that we surround ourselves with how we treat ourselves. You realize that you are surrounded by toxic people. People who treat you how you shouldn’t be treated. Once you realize that, you start to see your worth. You see that you should be treated with respect and with care.
Do more things that bring you joy
Usually, we are so busy in the day-to-day life of work and personal responsibilities. “My schedule is too full for that.” Is what we tell ourselves in our head or to others. You’d be surprised at how much time we actually have for ourselves. When we think of taking time to ourselves, we picture a nice hot bath and wine. It doesn’t haven’t to be that extravagant. It could be as small as baking yourself cookies or watching your favorite show. Just do something that brings a smile to your face. Something that doesn’t make you stress out or your heart rate go up.
Ask for help when you need it
Asking for help isn’t being weak. Asking for help is saying that I need a bit of a lift. We don’t want to ask for help sometimes because it may affect our pride. Or maybe bruise your ego. Is that really important? Help isn’t you waving a white flag and screaming “I surrender!”. It’s you telling yourself that you’ve hit your limit. And that you’re not okay and need a bit of a boost.
Speak to yourself kindly
Think about how you talk to yourself in your head. Would you speak to your best friend like that? So, then why would you speak to yourself like that? Plain and simple. Respect yourself. No need for the harsh talk.
Be patient, but persistent
Learning how to self-love takes time. It doesn’t happen at the snap of your fingers. One day you are toxic to yourself and the next you are this free bird. Sadly, it doesn’t work like that. Loving yourself also takes persistence. Don’t get me wrong. Some days you won’t feel like reciting the affirmations and reading the social media posts. That’s fine, but the real question is…will you pick yourself back up? Or will you wave that white flag just when the going gets tough?
THANK YOU FOR READING!
Truthfully, currently I’m following some of these ways to self-love. It’s hard after years of just degrading myself in my own head. As well as being surrounded by such toxic people. It’s a process to go through. I’m only twenty , so I have time to keep on trying. It may feel sometimes that you’re not worthy of love or such affection and attention. But that is just not true. You don’t need other people to validate how useful or worthy you are. It’s nice to have others be there, but what if they weren’t? Then it’d just be you. And sometimes that’s all you need to convince yourself.
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