May is upon us and you know what that means! It’s Mental Health Awareness month. Over the years mental health has become less and less of a taboo to talk about. It seems like people are starting to understand more the importance of these conversations. Especially, with the pandemic that we are still in. We are all suffering from an unhealthy mindset. Or maybe we have been already diagnosed with a mental illness. Bettering yourself went out the window during month 4 of the pandemic/quarantine. Either way, no matter your mental condition, having a healthy mindset is always an importance. Wanting to better yourself is always something to think about. So, to start off Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to talk about 8 things to quit in order to better your mental health.
When it comes to others we usually mistake being overly kind for people-pleasing. Even I still struggle with this. I didn’t even realize how bad my people pleasing was till a year after I started therapy. We want to be nice and kind people. Being able to be the best friend, partner, sibling, etc. that we can be. But at the end of the day, you gotta remember that it’s your life. You trying to do things for others will only lead to a negative mindset and an unhappy life. People pleasers are more susceptible to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem issues.
For a people pleaser, their mental health can be negatively impacted by their actions. In many cases, their happiness and sense of self are affected by what others think. This characteristic means people pleasers can be disproportionately upset if someone is unhappy with them.
Choose who gets access to your energy.
2. Fearing change
Even with the aftermath of the pandemic , change was something that we all got thrown in to. Our mental health was hindered because of it. Maybe you’ve had so many changes in your life that at this point it’s normal. But you still try to deflect it and pretend it isn’t there. Change isn’t always a bad thing. As people, we change constantly as we are growing up. Sometimes certain changes happen to create the person that we are today. Whether those changes were bad or good for your mental health, it’s nothing to fear. It’s more so something to embrace.
I know for me in the past two years, I’ve changed for the better. Taken steps and leaps that I would be too scared to take. Integrating things in to my life that have taken a positive turn. I used to fear change. It’d cause me to panic because I wasn’t prepared. But life is unpredictable. The best we can do is just go along with it and make the decisions we need as we go.
We all reminisce at times. A certain song or TV show is brought up and we dive head first in to nostalgia. But there’s a clear difference between nostalgia and refusing to leave the past. There’s a reason we call it the past. Whatever happened , happened. There’s no way to go back and change it. Living in the past will only hinder your mental health and hinder your progress to better yourself. Maybe the past seemed better. It was a happier time. But look at the life you have now and think about the life you could have. The future is a question mark for a reason. You can make it whatever you want. Best to think about what your future will be than to worry about what your past was like.
Overthinking is something that just ruins a person’s mind. We become so hinged on one thought. So much that it will send us spiraling in to darker and darker thoughts as time ticks on. Usually, when we overthink it comes from assumptions. We don’t know the full story ,so we enter in the plot holes with our own thoughts. If you find yourself spiraling, take a minute to breath. Just take 5 deep breath and ask yourself these questions.
- Why am I feeling this anxious?
- Are my fears based in reality?
- What evidence do I have for XYZ?
- Am I worrying just to worry?
- What is this story that I’m creating?
5. Being afraid to be different
I’m going to get personal for a bit. Since the 2nd grade, I’ve been bullied for everything that makes me different. Whether it’s my skin, my hair , how I talk, how I dress, etc. It seemed like the more I stood out , the more I felt so different. But not in the good way. It ruined my mental health for so many years.
Being different isn’t and shouldn’t be a negative thing.
The people that would laugh at my hair or the fact that I’m acting too “white” weren’t pointing out my flaws. They were pointing out my growing personality. Most of us have been laughed at or talked down to for just being somewhat different. But news flash! Being different is subjected to opinions. Express yourself till your heart’s content. The people that will laugh and snicker and speak on it are just jealous that you’re so unique.
Do you know how boring the world would be if we all just were the same? Eating the same food everyday is boring enough for me. It’ll take work ,but try not to see your difference as something to be ashamed of. It’s more so something that makes you stand out in the sea of boring nothingness.
6. Sacrificing your happiness for others
As much as we ,ourselves, want to be happy, in the drop of a hat we will sacrifice that. Pretending like our objective doesn’t matter anymore. As if our own well being doesn’t matter. We’ll mistake it for being caring and being kind. When in actuality, we are just hurting ourselves. We are hurting our physical well being, our mental health, and everything in between. It’s okay to be kind and caring. I’m not saying that you should turn in to a stone cold bitch. But at times you need to learn to say “no” and put yourself first.
Putting your happiness and well being first before others isn’t selfish. It’s called caring about your well-being. And a lot of us forget to do that for ourselves. If you notice that you’re sacrificing yourself for everyone ,but no one is doing the same for you. If you really want to work to better yourself. Then you need to re-evaluate how you define certain things with people.
7. Thinking you're not good enough
This not only hinders your mental health ,but it also hurts your self-esteem. It’s easier said than done to try and fix this mindset. Maybe you’ve had this mindset for years and just accepted it as apart of yourself. When you think that you’re not good enough, you start to act like it as well. Someone compliments you and you brush it off because you think it’s not true.
You have a great accomplishment in your life ,but you don’t believe that you deserve it. It’s all just your mind going against you. Trust me, I know it is tough. It’s tiring to be constantly fighting against yourself on a daily basis. But you have the strength to fight it. Just little by little. Maybe you get a good grade in class and reward yourself. Your failures don’t define who you are. But if you let it then it will.
8. Thinking you have no purpose
Whether you believe in a God, in astrology, or just plain science. We all have a purpose for our life and a reason that we are here. The people in our lives are in it for a reason. Life is like a subway train. We are riding the same train ,but we all get off on our own stops. Only interacting with each other at certain times for certain reasons.
If you’re reading this and thinking that you don’t know what your purpose is…that’s okay. To be honest, no one really knows their true purpose in life. Either it comes to us or we have to go out and find it. Our purpose may not be this grand statement that we leave on the world. But maybe it’s a small sliver of an impact that we leave on an individual. Either way, you’re important to this world and to the people that you’ve touched in your life. Just remember that.
THANK YOU FOR READING !
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s also AAPI Heritage Month. Go out and educate yourself. Support small Asian and Pacific Islander content creators and businesses. Have some talks with your friends on mental health. Show love to the AAPI community and the Mental Health community.
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