As we grow up and go through life, we are taught to put trust in others. Whether it be friends, family, your doctor, your dentist, even the pilot flying the planes up above. Trust is a crucial aspect to being social in society. But I don’t think many of us were brought up with the teaching of self-trust. Having to always have that solid ground in yourself. Even if you were, I think it’s something that can easily crumble under certain situations. I know for me having good self-trust in myself was just something that wasn’t tangible. Not until I started therapy & began to understand myself more.
Self-Trust is similar to self-esteem in the regards that no one else can fix it ,but you. It’s not something that a boyfriend, girlfriend, or even partner can establish in you. I’ll be honest and tell you this. I’m still on that journey of trying to establish trust within myself. To able to trust my choices, my emotions, my thoughts. But so far, I’ve learned some valuable lessons that I wanted to post about.
As great as it is to have that external validation, we need to build that internally as well. Being our own “fan” or our own “hype man”. Self-trust it built on the foundation that you have your own inner voice. That even when the external validation isn’t there , you can still hold yourself up. Working on your internal validation is a great way to start gaining your won trust. Learn how to give yourself compliments. Affirmations are a great way to build that internal validation within yourself. By telling yourself the things you need to hear , you’ll slowly build a habit of hearing it come from you. When you are feeling low , learn how to cheer yourself up instead of always looking to others.
2. Let go of bad habits that undermine your self-trust
We all can account for some bad habits that we have developed over time. Another way to build self-trust in yourself is to break those bad habits. Examples of some could be negative self talk, undermining your own opinions, constant need for others opinions, etc. While it is great to get second opinions in certain things. It shouldn’t be the first thing you always go to. You should be able to trust in your own opinions and advice. Negative self talk doesn’t help much as well. You can’t build trust in yourself if you won’t even be positive to yourself. It takes 30 days to form a habit and the same amount of time to break it.
What is your inner critic? It’s that voice in your head that is your biggest hater. The person that when you think you’re doing great they just criticize everything you do. Your inner critic is needed as a person. They can be used for motivation. But when you give that inner critic too much hold or power over you. They can become overwhelming. And more difficult to ignore. I know personally, this was a big obstacle to tackle when I first started therapy. Being able to know when to listen and when to hush my inner critic.
It took a lot of work within myself and habit breaking to get to the point I am now. We can be our harshest critic & that is 100% true. To be able to work on our inner critic, we need to start regulating negative self talk. And self-awareness as to when your inner critic is being a bit more controlling.
You are not perfect. And that is a reality that I think we all need to accept. Humans have flaws and that is how we are wired. This imaginary standard that society sets for us to be well rounded adults. That by 25, we need to have our crap together. When in reality, there are some 40-year-old’s that don’t even have their own life together. All this to say, it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to not get something right. If we got everything right, then we wouldn’t be able to learn anything. The life lessons that shape who we are. Just stop being so harsh on yourself. It’s like what Hannah Montanan says, “Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days.”
5. Make self-care a priority
Last ,but not least, SELF-CARE! I talk about this topic a lot. And it is for good reasons. Self-trust link right to self-care. If you’re not learning to prioritize yourself. Or put yourself first for once in your life. Then it’s time to start. Trusting in yourself is also about taking care of yourself. And knowing when it’s time to say “I need to preserve my energy for me.” Carve out time at the least, once every other week to take time to yourself. Just resting your mind. Resting your body. And working towards getting to know yourself better.
THANK YOU FOR READING !
Self-trust is something that I think everyone should learn to build. It is a big finical point in evolving as an adult. I’ve definitely been learning this through my content creation journey. That and how to handle imposter syndrome. I hope you enjoyed this week’s post. Links to more post are below! Be sure to check it out. As well as my Tik Tok! I post SO much more fashion, self-love, and lifestyle content on there.
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