On social media, motivational speakers and bloggers speak of self-love. They spout their own experience ,but you’re there asking yourself. How do I practice self-love in my life?
You guys, I am very excited about this post for this week. I had the great opportunity to sit down and interview Cindy Noir. Cindy is a self-love & motivational speaker. She as well posts videos on TikTok. You may recognize her a bit. She so graciously agreed to sit down with me and have a conversation about cultivating self-love. I found her Tik Toks one day when it popped up on my For You page. And since then, I’ve been so inspired and uplifted by her words.
Cindy Noir
Around this time last year during the pandemic, Cindy was a bit hesitant to download Tik Tok. Seeing it as a more younger crowd app she thought to not use it. But eventually she came around and got it. Starting off making a few lighthearted comedy video’s here and there. As her following began to grow she an opportunity. As a black woman in her mid-20s she wanted to share advice on the mistakes she made. Give her guidance to other women starting off in their twenties. She wanted to become the person she wished she had when turning 20. So, she started to make self-love/motivational tik toks.
"Part of me just feels a calling ,especially to younger black women. To talk to them about the mistakes I've made & learned. Because if I can just reach one black girl who looks like me...and tell them 'sis you ain't gotta do that'...then it's worth it."
Cindy had a lot of lessons she learned. Especially when it came to self-love and healing. She wanted to share what she had learned with others. In the interview, she told me that she never actually understood why people wouldn’t share their advice. Seeing that it could help someone avoid that mistake. Her goal audience originally is a younger audience of women in their 20s. But she also has older women as well being avid followers ,too.
She wanted to use her lessons to help other women like her
"We (black women) need guidance. A lot of us don't really have black women in our circles to look to, to give advice... I feel like a lot of people want to give advice once they've left their twenties... the advice would resonate more with someone still in that decade... it's a pivotal decade to be in out lives. "
Cindy wasn’t seeing the messages she wanted to convey being delivered in the way she wanted to. So, what did she do? She sought the opportunity and made herself the persons she wanted to see on the platform. Now with 350k followers and 9m likes in total. Cindy posts her self-love/motivational TikToks to her page. Knowing that is it making a impact.
Q: How would you define self love?
Self-love is a broad spectrum. And under it are many little topics that stem from it. It can be tied to the real question. Which is, how do you define love?
"Love is an energy. It's like a living breathing thing that you have to put in work to keep alive & healthy. It's not just a verb...self-love is accountability. It's accepting the ugly...You have to nurture it & maintain this energy on a daily basis. "
Cindy’s definition on how she defined self-love spoke a lot on how some of us define it. Quite frankly, when I first started my self-love journey. In my eyes, I defined the term as a positive word. I saw it as the action as to which you do all the loving stuff to yourself. Maybe it’s buying yourself flowers. Or speaking powerful affirmations. But now, I define it in such different terms. It just goes to show how much versatility the word has. Self-love isn’t just the beauty of yourself. Which it is ,but it isn’t just all that. This led me in to my next question.
Q: What are some misconceptions people believe about being on a self-love journey?
That it is easy. Cindy talked about some people see self-love as a easy task. That it is just simple and cute. Leaving out the actual truth behind it.
"Self-love is the nice bubble bath, candles lit...but it's also really ugly at times ,too. It's about setting boundaries. Cutting away the toxic people from your life."
Another misconception she had was people thinking that self-love is one and done. That it’s a destination and not a journey. People may think that once you fixed yourself now, you stay that way. All that work was a one time deal. And that there is not reason to keep putting in the work. Cindy stated that with self-love you’re never done putting in the work. There is no endpoint to going on a self-love journey. You’re always evolving which brings new challenges.
Q: What is some self-love advice you wish someone gave you?
Don’t be afraid of yourself
Cindy expressed how often we become afraid of our past and of ourselves. But that self-love is about the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is hard to accept that part of yourself. But it is needed in order to fully heal.
"If you're on your self-love journey. A lot of the things that you're running from within yourself is what you actually need to learn to accept, forgive, release. That's where the self-love really lies."
Look at your mistakes & failures. All those factors is needed in your self-love journey. No one is perfect. When it comes to self-love it is about loving ALL of you. Not just the good parts. When you’re feeling low it’s because you’re not loving those ugly parts of you. Pushing it down or hiding it away won’t make it any less apparent. Learning to love the ugly matters more than you think.
"When you're able to love your ugly side, it makes doing the cute, fun stuff a whole lot easier!"
Q: How are some ways to cultivate self-love in life?
Journaling once a day was a big thing Cindy emphasized that helped her cultivate self-love in her life. Writing down her thought helped her see how her thought process really was. It’s one thing to think negative ,but then to read it is another.
"I know for me ,my thoughts would just bounce around all day... journaling gave me a chance to pull those thoughts out & put them on paper."
Cindy then expressed how going to therapy as well was a way that helped her. Most importantly, doing things she loved. If she found herself too much in her head she’d go for a nature walk. If it was a nice sunny day ,she’d spend it outside. A question she wanted to bring up was , What did you enjoy as a child? And then do it. That part of self-love is healing out inner child. Connecting with them. By doing what you used to love, you will feel yourself healing.
"You're going to need little things that make you happy to get you through it."
Q: What is something on your self-love journey that stood out to you?
"Accountability really isn't bad. It's kind of like vegetables. It might not taste good ,but it's good for you."
Cindy saw that the more she ran from her accountability the more mistakes she made. Eventually, she had to sit down with herself and just call herself out. Now accountability isn’t there to guilt trip you. Or expose your faults. The only way to grow is to correct your wrongs. And make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes. Accountability is freeing in a way.
THANK YOU FOR READING !
This was such a great interview to have. I had so much fun doing it. Cindy was so nice and such a great person to meet. Truly a kind soul. Go and check out her TikTok page to hear everything she has to say. She is truly so inspiring with her words. Everything she says is just facts. Click the little icon to get to her page. I even edited our interview video for you guys to watch! You’ll get to listen to her full answers. There’s even a bonus question that I asked ,so watch the video for that. Share, like, and subscribe as well 🙂
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