Natural Hair: 5 Valuable Lessons as an African Woman

In October, it will be a year since I have done my big chop. I started to transition my hair in the summer of last year. And through this one year experience. I have really just learned a lot about not only my own natural hair. But also, just having natural hair in general. And the connection between a black woman and her hair. As well as, realizing a lot of microaggressions and racism that I dealt with at a young age due to my hair. Natural hair is a big subject of conversation not only in Black people spaces ,but for some reason in white people spaces as well. So, I guess I wanted to make a post about what lessons I have learned from this experience so far.

1. Our hair holds a lot of weight

Now I don’t mean this literally. I actually mean this in a spiritual, emotional sense. When I was little I had such a big afro. Like ,I’m talking natural hair 80s afro. And around the age of 8 or 9 , my mom (after months of begging) let me get a relaxer. Now, this was a decision I made because I thought it was going to make me look pretty. Looking back now, the reason was much sadder. Over the decade of relaxer after relaxer, I finally saw what my hair really was. And it was baggage.

My natural hair was something that I needed to have again. Because my relaxed hair was proof itself of how I felt. Broken, weak, and damaged. When I finally cut all those strands off. I actually cried. The weight of my natural hair felt light. It was like I was freed from bondage. Our hair holds many emotions and memories. Sometimes, you just gotta cut it off and start over.

2. No one else should have opinions about your natural hair

The only reason why ,as black people, that out hair is seen as “unprofessional” or “nappy” is because of White society. And it dates back to colonialism and the segregation. But here’s the kicker. No one should be having opinions about your natural hair. The only thing that should be coming out of people’s mouths is compliments. Because last time I checked this hair is growing on my head. So why does someone else’s words have to have a say on my own hair. When I was in elementary school, all the way up till highschool. I let others words dictate how I saw my hair. Even my own parents. Eventually, I saw that this was not healthy. The only person actually being affected by this was me. Your hair, your say. It’s as simple as that.

3. Patience, patience, and more patience

When you first get on YouTube and see all these women with their natural hair. Their length is like to their shoulders or a big afro. I was always hoping that my hair would grow that length. And that it would be healthy enough to do all these styles. But I quickly learned that is not the best expectation. Growing my hair to be healthy and not break as much was a lot. It came with hours and hours of research. Along with some tears. Eventually, I just had to accept the fact that this is going to be a long journey. A continuous one as a matter of fact. The number one trait to have during a natural hair journey is patience. The results you want won’t come as easily. It’s going to require a lot of work & time (and money) to achieve what you want.

4. Don't compare your natural hair texture

It wasn’t till about 4 months in to my transiting from relaxed to natural that the texture envy really got to me. Texture envy is when you have jealousy or envy towards a wanted texture of hair. I have 4a/4b hair texture. It is very coily ,very dense. Pretty much the African woman staple of hair. And when I’d see other natural hair girls. The ones that got praised were girls of a type 3 hair texture. The looser curls were seen more. It got me thinking that my hair would be like that. I was just in denial.

Over time, I had to put down social media and spend time with my own texture. Comparing myself to others was just making me hate this beautiful process even more. It came to one point where nothing about my hair made me happy. Comparing hair texture will only make you hate your hair. Learning to love your 4c hair is what makes you feel more beautiful. And right now I feel more beautiful than I did with my relaxers.

5. Do whatever makes you happy with your natural hair

From a young age, as Black women, we have outside opinions of our image. Whether it is that we look too grown. Or something looks too revealing or “ghetto” on us. Either way, it seems like we are always trying to make other happy. Especially with our hair. Our natural hair is deemed as “unprofessional” and “unkept” in marginalized white spaces. Which can cause us to do more damage to ourselves to appease others. This shouldn’t be the case with your hair. Do whatever makes you happy. If that is cutting it to nice buzz cut. Or dying your hair a new ,outrageous color.

Our hair is a source of a lot of our confidence and happiness. It never made sense to me as to why that confidence and happiness had to also be up to someone else’s standards. It’s our hair. No one should be in charge of it except for us. And I have to say it, that also goes for our mothers. We as Black women take pride in our appearance. But sometimes we tend to misplace that pride in others. Not anymore. If it puts a smile on your face then it’s the best decision you have ever made.

THANK YOU FOR READING !

I hope this post resonated with some of you. My natural hair journey is in its early stages ,but already I have learned a lot. I have had to confront many hurtful and damaging moments from my past. In October, it will be officially a year since I big chopped. I’m planning on posting another natural hair post for that. Sharing my story is apart of my healing and my journey. So, I don’t mind getting personal for a bit. Thank you again for reading this week’s post.

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